Well, its not much of a secret because we're not hiding it, but at the same time, not many people know. And, its not much of secret because I'm posting it on the internet.

Still, it is kind of a secret only because its disguised-- meaning that it doesn't look like you think it should look like. Okay, now do you want to know what it is?
Homelessness is a person sleeping under a bridge; it is a family in crowded homeless shelter; it is someone crashing on their friends couch past their welcome, it is living out of your car, etc.

Yes, as in we don't have a place to live.

How long you ask, since we got married, and even before that. We started this journey called marriage, this being one, this union... homeless. I'll be more specific now, we do not own where we live; no monetary payment has gone to a thing call rent, or mortgage, etc. When we stayed in Mexico, we did not own the house we stayed at.





Ask anyone who knows us, and they'll tell you that we've been "moving" for the past eight months. The truth is, we really are moving... somewhere, and sometime soon, but those are all the details we have. That is the only answer we have been able muster up since May; we know no further details.

Okay, so now you are probably freaking out enough for the both of us saying, "BUT THERE IS A BABY ON THE WAYYYY!!YOU MUST HAVE A PLAN". To which we answer, "Yes, there is a little snuggly baby on the way, and we are so excited, but a baby does not give us the authority to plan when God hasn't spoken yet. We dare not overstep our boundaries, not because of fear of being struck by a power hungry God, but because we desire so much what the Lord has for us we dare not insert our own inclinations.

Now that we got that out of the way, I can talk about being homeless-- being married, pregnant, human and homeless.

When you are in between places-- none of them being your own-- you find out how much stuff you really have. I have gone through the embarrassing accumulation of clothes to my name three times in the past year. Each time, I have given away at least two black stretchy garbage bags full of both old and new clothes, and clothes that fit, and clothes that do no fit.

If you know me at all, you know that clothes is not my thing. Shopping makes me dizzy and gives me hot flashes, and I hardly ever match. I never considered myself as someone with a large closet, but when I was asked to fit all my clothes in a tiny closet and a few drawers, suddenly I was drowning in clothes.

After giving away more than half my clothes, I realized that I still have more clothes than I need. Actually, as a couple, we have more than we need of everything, shoes, blankets, books, craft supplies, flatware, etc. Yet, to some, we have nothing because we have no plan, no mailing address, no rent, no mortgage, etc. Still, whether we have all things or nothing, we do not lack anything (Matthew 6:25-32).

We thank the Lord for that. But I'll tell you something, if I have not looked upon the glorious face of Jesus, I am a pro at convincing myself that I need unnecessary things. Like, so and so has a certain something, and look at how convenient/pretty/cool it is, I neeeeeed it. Truth is, I don't need it and I need to be reminded of that more than I care to confess. There, in that place of wanting the unnecessary, the Lord meets me through my husband who ever so gently reminds me that we do not need it, and if we bought it... where would we put it?

So, we have more than we need, praise God. That is mind blowing enough, but the Lord has a lesson for us in what we do possess.

Living in between places means that all that you do own is scattered everywhere. Half our things are at my mom's house, half where we are staying (above Brian's parents house), my sister has some of my small furniture, some of my stuff is still in Mexico (two different parts of Mexico-- La Purisima & Mexico City) and Brian still has stuff in Romania. Finding things gets tricky from time to time, but we've learned to live with what we have at arms length. If the rest of the plates are at my mom's house, we eat on napkins or over our hands. When you have less and something needs to get done, you get creative, and you get humbled.

But you know what, we are blessed. We are blessed because when we think about the fact that we have no idea where we will be living a month from now, we find comfort remembering that Earth is not our home, and that our reward is not here. When that sinks in, Abraham becomes a close friend (Hebrews 11:8-10), and the yearning for our eternal home grows.

We are homeless. If you are a lover and follower of Jesus, you are homeless too. You may pay rent, or a mortgage, but your home is not where mailing address says it is, nothing to our name will last. 1 Timothy 6:7,"For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out." Does that rest comfortably on your heart?

My flesh hates that because my flesh wants to accumulate and advance in this world. So, it is by God's grace that I am homeless, it is not a curse or a condemnation. When the enemy tries to twist the Lord's promises and words, I find comfort in this, when I receive my reward-- that is, to finally look upon His Glorious Face-- He will not ask me what I owned nor what I earned; He will not even ask where I lived, no, He will ask me how I loved and obeyed. I desire to have an answer to those questions. How will you answer Him? Are you inclined to point to what you have, and not to what you've done?




So, if you want to send us something for some reason, send it to my mom's, or to my sisters, or maybe even to the bird store.

Homeless

adjective

1.

without a home:

a homeless child

noun, ( used with a plural verb)

2.

the homeless, persons who lack permanent housing.

(use the links below)

The last week and half has been filled with countless goodbyes. A little over a week ago, I said goodbye to my best friend who is following the Lord's call abroad--not knowing when I'll see him again. On Friday, I parted with about forty people who I instantly bonded with, and who are just as crazy as I am in heeding God's call to make disciples of all Nations.*

I do not take credit for this picture**

I am a firm believer that the Lord does certain things in seasons. I am in the season of goodbye. I graduated college about a month ago. I parted with the student life and many people who remain there. In less than two months, I will be saying goodbye to my family, my friends and to the USA with all that it holds-- both good and bad. 

I've asked the Lord to make me teachable, and God has a way of gracefully exploiting our weaknesses to the point with His glory springs forth. This season is not for to become comfortable or even good at goodbyes; I feel too deeply to have that ever be possible, and that is okay.

What I know is that after every single goodbye the Lord meets me as I curl up on a cold floor or on a padded chair. He whispers sweet but stern reminders about the necessity of departures.

He reminds me of the supreme blessing that it is to be able to count all things lost for that I may gain Christ.

He reminds me that there is a joy set before me. A joy that Jesus saw as far greater that the scorning shame of the cross. A joy that is far better than anything I leave behind.

He reminds me that when goodbyes are grounded in obedience to the command to go to the Nations for the purpose of seeing His praises arise from every tribe, tongue and Nation, I do not want to keep or be kept from going--no matter what my emotions scream or what my comfort attempts to coerce me to believe  Boy, was this true on Friday.

He reminds me that I cannot afford to stay here, where I am now-- wherever that may be. He has called me, and my bones burn with desire to join in His work. I cannot afford to count myself out of His great work. I cannot stay. Just as I cannot stay, I should not ask that of anyone else.

He reminds me that those who I part from are united by One Spirit and that we are part of One Body. 

He reminds me although apart, we are working together in preparing ourselves and others for a wedding. A wedding where we will be the beautiful Bride of Christ. What greater privilege than that?
Lastly, He reminds me that the workers are few but the harvest is plenty. Because there are few of us, we all must go despite the cost. Then, we are called to pray for more workers. 
*From all Nations to all Nations.
**Image source Tumblr