There are many topics that crowd the list of things I want to write about. I have thoughts about today being my last day of summer, tomorrow being the unofficial start to my last semester as an undergrad. My sister and I now share a room; I could go on forever about how its a great but terrible idea at the same time. Plus, feelings about this weekend run rampant through my mind, both good, bad and in between. All of the above permeated by thoughts about Jesus and how He works, and what He says.

So, this is a letter to myself. A trail of consecutive phrases marked by punctuation written to myself as I sit here in my living room with LOST on in the background, cramps in my abdomen, and left over custard in my freezer.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Me,

Ahh tomorrow begins the shuffling of papers, the late night phone calls, the endless emails, and the jingle of quarters as they tumble down parking meters. Oh, and thats just work. Two weeks from now will begin the luxurious strolls to class, the mindless scrolling through powerpoints, the learning through diffusion (ha), and the fight to stay awake at 2:30pm when your eye lids are just too heavy.

In each of those moments, keep your head up and shoulders squared. For three years God's grace has kept you untainted in the midst of a mainstream, Big Ten University. You have been preserved, but not unchanged. That is the most important thing to remember. Don't only remember what He has kept you from, but also what He has not kept from you. During these three years, the tears were not kept from you, the pain was not kept from you, the joy was not kept from you, and His power was not kept from you. Welcome this last semester as another opportunity to be impacted, and a chance to influence those who surround you.

Ahhh this weekend, a plenitude of inspiration and beauty overshadowed by periods of discouragement. Remember that even though your words may have come-off lofty the LORD can still use them. The moment words disperse into the air, He has the power to redeem them for His glory. Remember that even Jesus was un-welcomed in His hometown. Remember that even though you have fallen even after knowing the Truth, His blood still covers that. Most importantly, remember you cannot change hearts. You cannot will people into believing.

That covers the periods of discouragement. Now, to the periods of beauty. How diligently God seeks you. He places people around you and places you around people. He accomplishes His work of bringing glory to Himself without your help.

He brings His loved ones to Himself in contrasting ways. Each person He brings differently. By His design, all with pain, sorrow, heartbreak--only because we are too stubborn to see Him otherwise-- but the differences lie in the individuality He gave us. I cannot pretend that He pursues His children in the same fashion. He takes into account how we mourn, how we rejoice, how we love, how we speak, how we dream, and He love us in those places and call us to Himself with intricacy and intimacy. There is so much beauty in that, I can't even put it into words-- that alone is comforting.

I know you'll read this again one day and I want you to know that even beforehand you knew that the next five months will be a roller coaster, and thats okay. In the chaos, find peace in Christ. Even when you read this, don't settle for anything. You may not have someone telling you this, but you are a powerful woman of God. The LORD endlessly roars that truth over you. So, don't sell yourself short by taking the easy way to anything.

I rambled now, and you probably still ramble then. That also is okay.

Sincerely,
A younger you.