The Crutch of the Past

Mexico is a developing country.

It has a tumultuous past, an uncertain present, and an unknown future.

And here, just like everywhere else, everyone has a story--if you take the time to listen.


When I think about the story that the Lord has given me, I am grateful for it. All of it, the drugs that tore my family apart for a fews years, the unhealthy friendships, and the twisted thinking. I am grateful for the rocky path that lead me to the Cross where, like a child, I wept before the Lord dirty and broken.

Its been fours years since I first laid before the feet of the Lord. Since then, every moment has been a journey. Logistically, there has been a high school graduation, a college move, a first apartment, a graduation, a move back home, a cancer diagnosis, and a temporary 8 month move to Mexico City --where I find myself now. Inwardly, in the last four years, it seems as though my emotions were tossed into a prism and burst forth as inexplicable joy, unending gratitude, searing pain, fierce anger, and tears, lots and lots of tears.

The grip of the Father is visible on the clay of my being. My molding is taking shape and you can make out what it is that I was purposed to be. The deep grooves of shame, self-pity, pride, and fear are almost smoothed out, and I can hold Living water within me, like I was created to do.

And I am thankful, but I am tempted to stay there at thankful.

But it doesn't end there.
If you ask the Mexican population they will tell you that the past has formed them above everything else. That is why Mexican tradition is king over innovation, is king of the family, and is king over religion. That is a problem, but its not just a problem here it is a problem everywhere.*

I am like that sometimes. I hold past experiences and past ideas as king over my future. The past becomes a crutch, and I hobble around. Things that the Lord has done impede me from sprinting through the streets, and being alive. That is a problem. That is a big problem.

What the Lord did in the past is something I should thank Him for, yes, I agree. At that time, He did exactly what He meant to do, at exactly at the time He wanted to do so. He may do those things again, but He may do them in a different manner, through different vessels, with different venues.

I do not want to be stuck only on what He has done before.

Jesus does the unexpected. He came as no one thought He would come, a humble servant. He healed on the Sabbath, ate with sinners and tax collectors, and changed the whole liturgy of the Passover. As a people, the Israelites were stuck on their past. They needed a savior for power, not redemption

But He came to change things. His life and death forever changed how I stand before the Father. His life and death included me, a gentile, into His promises.

Many stumbled over of Him, and failed to receive Him for who He was.

There is so much more to Him than I know. He is far greater and far better than I can imagine. I want more. I need more. In order to get more, taste more, know Him more, love Him more, the crutch of what has happened has to become the wind beneath my sails which propels me to run ahead unto what is to come-- however it may come, and whenever it may come.

Most of the stories I have heard here are most captivating because they are not done yet. Your story is not finished either. I think it is about time we all stopped acting like they are.

*I am not hating on traditions but when they are held higher than other things it impedes growth, life, and progress.


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