The Problem with Hiding

After a lengthy conversation with an old friend, I realized that the more we expresses viewpoints, ideas, and stories, the more eloquent they come off. I am conflicted to whether that credits or disqualifies the honesty behind what we share.

What is written below is something I have never formed into anything beyond inner thoughts and fragmented sentences. So, I am choosing to allow my unrefined, unpracticed thoughts to prove that sometimes raw and real is of more gain than articulate and well formed.

---------------------
There is a fine line when it comes to our hearts, and the hurt that we are so afraid of afflicting on it. I have yet to find the line, so much so that I stray so far from that line that the line is a dot to me. What I do know is that I have been hurt countless times due to many culprits including myself.

As I get older, and some would say wiser, I am slightly more convinced that the less we want, the safer we feel. I have a problem with that for two reasons. One, being that safety is a lie. Two, being that we are created to desire/want in a big things.

Safety is a lie, one of the biggest I have come to face, and by the Spirit am able overcome. It is a lie because safety promises that it is better than vulnerability. We buy into that lie because from the day we take our first breath we fear that we are not what we should be. We are conditioned by expectations and disappointments to believe that what we desire is better kept hidden and unvoiced. As if the hiddeness of it all makes the pain go away, when instead, it stifles pain and turns it into poison. The poison that makes us will ourselves to never feel that way again or never get to that place again.


BUT 
What if, what if, the point of this life, and the only way the LORD can fully satisfy our every desire is if we stop pretending that we do not have them.  

What if, what if, instead of letting disappointments turn into poison, we allow them to become a catalyst . A catalyst to explore the redemptive purposes of the desire, and use them as a compass to where all our affections should point to... the LORD.


I do not take credit for this picture

We were created to want, and to want deeply, only because Christ is fit to satisfy. How can we believe that He is Living water to our desperately thirsty bodies when we denote the thirst as evil, and dismiss it for the sake of safety. We tell ourselves we are not thirsty, so we do not look for water.


BUT

What if, what if, we embraced the desire to be wanted/known/held/loved/etc. and seek to have them fulfilled by the only One can truly can do so.

What if, what if, we rose up to fight the lie that a desire is ruined by failure, either within ourselvess or by another human being.

What if, what if, instead, we conditioned our ears to recognize the roaring rapids, and the rushing flow of the Living water, so that when we find ourselves far from it, the ampleness and wildness of it calls us back.

What if, what if, we chose to not let disappointments ruin a Godly desire, and a Godly thirst.


What if, all of this means that taking chances and desiring more is the least we can do for each other, in hopes that is propels us to do the same in the Lord.

What if, bitterness ceased to exist in us.

I do not pretend to have the answers to anything, at all. In fact, when I think I have it all together, I immediately discern that I do not.

What I do know is that we are doing something wrong, and the answer is JESUS, He always is. What differs, if anything, is if He is someone to blame or someone to Praise.

I choose praise.


"He says,... I made you; I understand desire; I understand passion. I understand craving; I understand longing; I understand aching; I understand loneliness... every person in this room is made with a cavern for Christ". 
John Piper



CONVERSATION

Back
to top