Longing

The porch door is open escorting the warm air in; the roommates are all gone; my Bible and my books are on the coffee table; its just me.



The irony sets in that I am sitting here, 38 hours away from leaving to El Salvador, and I am in a state of nostalgia...I haven't even left yet!

Besides coming to college and some vacations, I have never gone anywhere. Even in all those times that I have gone somewhere, I have never had this feeling in my bones. Never. 

I believe that if the LORD is takes me somewhere, He intends to change me in the process. He is all about His Glory, and conforming me to the image of CHRIST brings Him glory.

Thats what is stirring in my soul.

The stirring is excitement and expectation, and it causes my insides to burst with yearning.

In most of the books that Paul wrote, he so wonderfully talks about his desire to be with brethren. He longed to be with the people who rejoiced in the LORD with him, and with those who were faithfully laying him down before the throne in prayer. He desired to return to fellowship with them and to share in the blessings and sufferings of Christ with them. He wanted to greet them with a "holy kiss" and I imagine a hug as well. He could not wait to see them and talk about all the LORD has done. He desired a true relationship that flowed directly from the LORD.

"Why are you weeping and breaking my hear? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the LORD JESUS" Acts 21:13

"I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong—that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith" Romans 1:11-12

"But now there is no more place for me to work in these regions, and since I have been longing for many years to see you" Romans 15:23

Imagine how communication worked back then... Send a letter, hope it gets to the designated place, wait weeks/months for them to receive it. Then, wait months to receive a response. If that isn't long enough, I imagine Paul was moving from place to place as the LORD led him and as his responsibilities required him to. Plus, he spent a lot of time in prison or on boats, how would letters get to him there? Quite a tricky situation.

What I find so beautiful is that Paul's longing did not interfere with his work. His longing did not debilitate him. No, it was the opposite. His heartfelt desire to see them allowed him to pursue the LORD boldly. Paul knew that the LORD would reunite them in His timing and that joy would overflow.

His desire and longing to see his brothers/sisters was a manifestation of the LORD at work in him and in those around him.

"But we, brethren, being taken from you for a short time in presence, not in heart, endeavoured the more abundantly to see your face with great desire. 
Wherefore we would have come unto you, even I Paul, once and again; but Satan hindered us. For what is our hope, or joy, or crown of rejoicing? Are not even you in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ at his coming? For you are our glory and joy" 
Thessalonians 2:17-20

That up there, what I just stated and that verse, is something that I am still getting used to.

By the Grace of God, I am blessed to be able to miss some of my brethren without sacrificing my focus.

So, I sit here ready to embark on this journey with the LORD to El Salvador and yes, I long to see some people, but the LORD has made it a blessing and not a burden, for nothing,  no height, no depth, no power, no principality will separate my life from the will of the LORD.

CONVERSATION

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