Ten Years

It is surreal that I find myself about a semester and a half away from graduating college. As I let that statement settle into the depths of my mind, questions arise, emotions run wild, and hopes rush in.


Questions:
There is no way I am almost done?
What?! Soon, no more college, no more classes?
What?! What the heck am I going to do without classes structuring my time?
Its been 3 almost 3.5 years already?
What in the world have I been doing?
How am I almost 22?

Emotions: (imagine Rapunzel from Tangled)
Whoaaaa hey there little bits and pieces of uncertainty that rise up.
Holy crap! I AM ALMOST FREEEEEE.
No way!
Im so young.
Im so old.

Hopes:
I am freeeee to do and give all my time and life to the LORD.
I am freeeee to go wherever, wherever, whenever.
My and Ken (my car) forever.
Different countries here I COME!
Marriage, huh, pleaaaasee God, pleaseeeee.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My best friend asked me today, "What do you see yourself doing in the next 10 years?"

My mind stopped dead in it's tracks, literally. That question had so much potential, it was pregnant with meaning and expectant of a real and truthful response, so naturally, my mind could not take it. I had him repeat the question 3 or 4 times just so I could process it.

Six months ago, three months ago, I could not have answered that question with any kind of conviction or assurance. Back then, the answer would've been a wishy-washy sturdy as jello, "Uh grad school? Uh maybe not? Ummm, yeah" 

Today, by the grace of God, I was empowered to answer with wholehearted confidence and unwavering faith that in the next ten years I will by Grace be serving the lowly, loving the broken, reaching the lost, feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless.

In ten years, I will still know that my home is not here. I will still hold fast to the truth that I am not home yet, and I will sojourn. With mercy, I will remain free from the bondage of this world. 

Yep, people will hate. Oh, I can already here it. Yessenia, you are so smart; you could have been anything. You could be making a lot of money. You should have gone to graduate school. Your parents came to this country to give you a better life and you are throwing it back in their face. Did you know that you an example for your cousins?

Yes, yes I know that I am smart, but I do not have this intelligence to glorify myself. I will use it to seek justice & love mercy.

I could have been anything, but God is the one who made me something; He gave me purpose. 

My life IS better... What is better than CHRIST? All my mom wants is for me to love, fear, and serve the Lord. 

And, I pray my example propels my cousins to seek Christ!

In the span of ten years, I will be turning 32. Yikes! 32.

By then I want to be married and hopefully be blessed children. I know it is probably the hardest thing to be married, with children, and be willing and able to pick up with my family and leave for the Lords work, but thats what I want for me, my future husband and my future children. I want freedom to remain

Im not talking patriotic freedom, and at this point I do not mean the freedom from sin (even though I want that for my family). I am talking about freedom to do as the Lord wills. I am talking about freedom to leave it all behind. I am talking freedom to obey, freedom to bear struggles. I mean freedom to choose Christ and His way. I mean freedom to choose a life deemed unworthy for the world.

Many people will criticize and judge my marriage and my family, but I don't think marriage was created for the American Dream. No, the American Dream is not something a follower of Christ should long for--I won't even go into that right now. So, let the scuffers come and by God's Grace I will proclaim that marriage was made to make me more like Christ. That includes suffering, that includes trials, that includes choosing the hard way, that includes spreading the Gospel.

2022, thats in ten years. I want to have this so that I can look back and see the fire the Lord has set in my heart. I want to use this post as a reminder to seek first the Kingdom. A year from now, 2 years from now, ten years from now, I want to still know that the I am BOUGHT with a price and I NOT my own.


I want to live and proclaim freedom.

CONVERSATION

Back
to top