Time

Hermano Sandoval, he was a kind man.

I wish I would have known the Lord while he was still alive. I say that because every time he preached, i yawned and every time he prayed, i stood looking the clock instead of postrated at the feet of the LORD.

He loved my mother like a daughter. He took her in when my father was gone and he took us in as well. I remember those days. He lost his daughter to suicide earlier in his life and my mom unknowingly took her place.

I still remember venturing out in the cold and into the city to go visit him. He was the oldest person i knew. I think he died at age 94?I remember him buying my sister and i our first digital camera and taking us to a jewelry store to buy us watches. I wish i hadn't lost mine within the week.

I don't know why i didn't like him back then. I had this terrible bitterness towards him. In my eyes, he was taking up all of my mothers time.

I was a foolish child. I look back now and although the amount of time my mother alloted to him was plenty, he was her spiritual father. I don't think i ever fully realized that until now, just sitting here.

Time.

Why am i so jealous for it and of it. Why?
I remember unplugging the telephone from the jack because i wanted to tell my mom something, but she had been talking to Bolivar for what seemed like an eternity.
I remember crying because my cousin Liz wouldn't sleep in my bed and instead chose to sleep with Mayra.

I remember, TIME.

I recall the punctuality of my family, and the warped notion of time at my house.
I recall how last year seems like yesterday and tomorrow seems forever from now.
I recall the way time stands still when i want it to pass and when i cling to it, it slips through the cracks
I recall the manner in which time rudely passes without any concern for my person.
I recall the way a deadline approaches too fast and a goodbye comes to soon.

TIME.

I express my love through time.  If you have my time, it means you are important to me. it means i care about you and that i value your company.

Plain and simple.



Time, just think about it.

Time, it ticks itself away. It counts itself down. Its hums down to nothing. It sings as the soundtrack of our lives never knowing when it will cease.

If i just sit; sit in the stillness with someone and be unbothered by the ticks that tock away. That is my gift.

Time, I cannot control but i was created to love through it. Time, something so precious. It is priceless, i can never get it back. Sometimes i spend 3 hours talking to someone, and never... can i ever, get it back. But still, i offer it up.

Time; I release it unto those i love.


Get this,

Time, God exists above it. WHOA
God, He is not subject to time.
He exists above, He created, He controls, He adjusts, He commands
TIME

God is above what offer to my fellow brothers/sisters. The priceless gift i give, does not even apply to my GOD and KING. The beautiful thing is that although God is not subject to time, the time i spend and offer to him is all the more valuable unto Him.

Wait, how can that be?

Its because offering time:
its sacrifice.
its worship.
its knowledge.
its conscious.
its praise.
its a relationship.
its a choice.

and He deserves all of it, in some way or another.

I think this is why the LORD emphasizes closet time. "Take the time to know Me for Me", He says. Do not settle to rely on what what you think I AM is or what people have told you I AM... child," I AM". He whispers.

Take time to know Me for yourself. I must take the time to know Him for myself.

"Seek ME while I may still found" He suggests that to you and i.

Time, we are bound by it for now, but one day time will be no more, and it will just be eternity.

CONVERSATION

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